Thoughts on gay marriage
I don't know about you but I really
still don't understand what the big deal is about gay marriage. I
know I'm probably going to get smashed on this one but I think I am
right on a lot of it. First of all a mistake that I don't if I am really gay or not, I like women I do like some men but I'm not into the
gay sex thing so maybe that makes me straight well I guess that's the way it
is. I consider myself an ally to the gay community and will do my
best to defend it. So with that said I just want to give my ideas of
what I think about gay marriage.
The first thing out of the mouths of most
gay people is that they consider themselves second-class citizens
which couldn't be farther from the truth. Dummy, you are gay, get used to
it, and you'll always be gay. And I for one do not want to be
homogenized into the straight community. Of course I have straight
friends, but who doesn't? So are we really second-class citizens? I
don't think so. We are who we are and we cannot be changed no matter
how hard we try, but why would we want to become straight in the
first place? That I really don't understand. After all I enjoy being
different and that's who I am, like it or not.
Has any gay person actually looked into
marriage? Believe me it's not all it's cracked up to be. The problem
is most people are going to say, well we need all of the government
protections which to me is bull. It just seems to me that everyone is
looking for all the freebies that the government will give you when
you get married. It's sort of like the guy who comes up to you and says here is a gift for you, and you think to your self why is he
giving me this gift? Certainly there has to be strings attached. Well
guess what? There always are and marriage is no exception. After all
you are signing a contract between yourself and your spouse and the
government and the state. Yes I said the state, because they always
have to have their fingers in there somewhere. So long as your
marriage is on until we do part (as in die) than everything is
hunky-dory. But oh boy if things don't go right and the marriage
sours this is when things can get really sticky and not very much
fun.
Now here's what happens so hang on to
your seats. What usually happens when people get married is that they usually agree to buy a house to live in together usually as tenants in common. Along
with that they buy furniture and all the accouterments necessary to
run a house. They might keep their old car but then again they might
trade it in for new one that both of them may own. What complicates the
problem is that because we cannot physically have children and
because many of us want to raise a child, we opt for adoption. Again
if this is a long term relationship it is all fine and dandy. But
what happens when things go sour and divorce is on the horizon? This
is the part that most of us don't like because we have to hire a
lawyer and file for divorce in court. All of this costs money, lots
of it. Not so much if we were lucky enough to have a premarital contract and
are smart enough to keep our possessions separate, then divorce could
be relatively painless. Besides the psychological consequences of the separating
apart, that believe me is not painless and can cause long term grief.
Fortunately in the gay community we don't wind up hating each other
unlike what tends to happen with heterosexual divorce cases. And the
worst part is when we throw a child into the mix this is where
things can go terribly wrong. Hopefully psychologically we do not use
a child as a pawn in the divorce proceedings. Both parents must be
extremely careful not to bad mouth one or the other in front of the
child because this can be detrimental to his or her psychological
health long term.
For this reason I think, and this is my
own personal opinion, that a living together arrangement (also known as a domestic partnership agreement) is the best
solution along with a binding contract concerning finances and what
belongs to whom. Of course you're going to have to go to a lawyer for
things like power of attorney in case of death and also health care
as necessary. In the long run if things don't work out you can always
separate without all the underlying expenses that divorce would
entail. So my question is, is marriage what it's really cracked up to
be?
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