I Confess I was just a little upset about MCC yesterday

Yesterday I wrote kind of a scathing article on Milwaukee Metropolitan Community Church. I guess, to say the least, I was a little upset with the way things are going there. Almost every day I check on Facebook and I check on You- Tube and I check on other websites I check on the LGB T community center, the Pride Fest's website and usually both the Milwaukee MCC Facebook page and also the Queer-church page and the MCC WordPress page. What got me upset was that none of these pages that MCC has up on the Internet has been updated for months at a time. One website was updated only in 2012, now that is just plain pitiful.

As I explained in the previous post I've had some health issues and I don't get out too much anymore most of the information I get is from the Internet and from talking to people on the phone and stuff like that. Thanks to the excellent work of the doctors my spinal surgery was a fabulous success. I still however have hip pain from what I'm told is bursitis and I am going to be scheduling an appointment with the doctor for a cortisone shot which hopefully will help tremendously with alleviating the pain.

Anyway back to the subject of MCC. When I did go to MCC I was quite active in the church. For about eight years I was a Deacon but I gave that up because of all the infighting amongst the deacons in the church. I figured it just wasn't worth all the hassle. Prior to the church buying the building that they now hold services in I had known the Lou Broyles for quite a number years prior to that. I informed Lou that the Unitarian church that I attended from about the beginning of June when the kids graduated from school to the first week in September went on hiatus for the summer. That means there were no church services, so I decided to attend services at MCC during the summer until the time that the Unitarian Universalist church started back up in the fall. I became friends with Lou and he discovered that one of my interests was comparative religion. He asked me to join the church and participate in new member orientation process where I was able to explain the differences between the religion that they had left and MCC. Soon after that Lou decided that we needed deacons to carryout some of the common tasks of the church. My interest besides new member orientation was hospital visitation and jail and prison ministry. Now many of us were a little disappointed when Lou decided that he wanted to get back to his old flame down south and informed us that he wanted to move down there to be with him. Unfortunately while he was visiting down south he had a fatal heart attack and passed away. In the meantime MCC was left without a minister and had hired an interim minister until they could find someone full time.

Just after the new minister was hired I thought it might be a good idea to explain to the new minister about the church  and the people attending church and some of the inner workings of it so she could get a handle on how things would be going. That of course was her first mistake, not wanting to listen to the information I felt would help her new ministry. I really didn't care whether she used the information or not just that she would have it for future reference if she needed it. That to me was a fatal mistake. Soon after I left the church because of all the infighting I found out that she did away with all the deacons in the church and instituted committees. This is not what a leader does. You do not allow the employees to run the business without supervision because they will run it right into the ground. I had suggested that in order to keep people informed of what's going on in the church that they should probably get on Facebook so they can post information on sermons, meetings, classes and other things that would be going on with the church on a timely basis. Apparently shortly thereafter they found out that they could set up a Milwaukee MCC page on WordPress where they could set up of a blog about what was going on. It started out okay but all of a sudden they stopped posting on both of these places and unfortunately information was no longer forthcoming.

As many of you should know by now I am a very outspoken person. I became interested in journalism when I started high school and became the school's chief photographer also writing short captions describing some of the events that I had covered. In 1964 he moved here to Wisconsin where I pursued my interests in electronics and got a job with the General Electric Company as a service technician and customer relations person which I was very good at. Sometime in the late 1980s through a conversation with a fellow photographer I thought perhaps I might be gay and I finally came out. It was during this time that I finally met Terry and Jerry of the Wisconsin light and Michael Lisowski and Dan Fons who hosted the Queer Program. I became close friends with Terry and Jerry and also became one of their photographers and journalists for the newspaper up to the time it finally ceased publication. I suppose by now you're probably wondering what this has to do with MCC? Well I will tell you. My experience with sales and marketing and journalism taught me that to grow a business you need to tell people about what you're doing to grab their interest and to get them to purchase your product, in this case MCC. MCC's failure to get the word out is hurting them dearly. It's hard to keep a church going when you lose members and money to pay your bills. This is why I am pushing so hard to get them to start putting information up on both of their webpages so that they can attract more members and interest in the church and hopefully make it successful.

I always do things for a reason that is why I am writing this article here to force them whether they like it or not to do the right thing. Even though my views have changed I still care about MCC and would like to see it succeed, that's why I do what I do. And no I am not dissatisfied nor I am I that old fart that some people call me. Believe me I made a lot of mistakes in my 68 years and I just don't want to see history repeat itself and that's why I do what I do.
 TT FN  Gary

What's with Milwaukee Metropolitan community Church?

Back in 2008 I was doing security downtown and I was involved in assisting the police in a major homicide which later made the papers. Shortly after the homicide my neck kind of cracked in my left hand and left foot started going numb. I thought perhaps it was the cold weather as I would have to's stick my arm out of the window when it was cold out as I was entering the garage and as I passed certain points I had to hit the scanner to indicate that I checked areas within the different buildings. It kept on getting worse so I decided I would see the doctor to find out what was going on. After a bunch of tests they discovered that what happened was that I had a spinal cord injury and that I needed to have an operation in order to fix the problem otherwise I would've been totally disabled. Needless to say the operation was successful and I was off work for several months. It was at this time that I stopped going to MCC and concentrated on getting back on my feet so to speak. There were several reasons why I decided stop going to the church, not because I didn't like it but because of the infighting that was going on between the deacons. So I told the minister that I was not going to be coming anymore because of this kind of stuff. Later on I found out that she had done away with the deacons. Apparently it was her decision that the congregation would be the ones who would ultimately help to run the church as needed. They instituted committees such as the building and grounds committee the technology committee the music committee the welcoming committee etc. For all practical purposes the only thing left was for the minister to give sermons and that was just about it, everything else was done by the people in the congregation or decided upon by the board of directors as they deemed fit. I did however go to church from time to time but gradually stopped going I think perhaps from loss of interest.

There was a time when I suggested that they start a Facebook page so that they could post any announcements about what was happening at the church or any special events or anything else that was going on to keep people posted on the goings-on of the church. This I thought would be a good way of marketing the church, after all we all know that members tend to come and go and that we need to replenish those that have dropped out to keep the church going and to keep interest high. Unfortunately many of the people that belonged to the church did not seem to be very computer literate, either that or they never checked their computers and never use them. So once the webpage or should I say Facebook page was created they never really updated it and it stayed pretty much static for months and months at a time. This is not good because anybody who would visit the Facebook page by the church would eventually wonder if the church was even in operation. In order to maintain people's interests it is necessary that you keep on posting notices and other things and activities that the church was doing. It would also be a good idea to post the theme of any upcoming sermons that may be of interest to those who would be planning to go to church. I guess soon after that they discovered that they could put up a blog for free using WordPress.com {milmcc.org} witch they did but the page was left unfinished I assume either because of lack of knowledge or interest. This also after a while seem to be abandoned and no new information seemed to ever be posted there on any type of timely basis. Unfortunately they never put a telephone number to be able to contact anybody at the church. There was of course a church telephone (on the facebook { https://www.facebook.com/pages/Milwaukee-MCC/143495165714520} you had to hunt for it in the About area) number which when called was never answered by anyone and only contained a prerecorded message telling people to leave their name and number and at they would get back to them. The problem was that there was never anybody in the church during the week to pick up the phone and to find out who had called nor did they ever bothered to call anybody back leaving the impression to those seeking information that perhaps this also had been abandoned. The church could have used call forwarding to forward all calls made to the church's number so someone would be available anytime to answer any questions or relay information.It seems to me like they only kept the telephone line but never used it which to me is a very sad state of affairs. Another thing is that the facebook page is set up for announcements and NO comments are allowed.

I also get the distinct impression that if you don't go to the church and you don't give them any money or you don't attend anything they don't care about you which is really a shame considering how gay people are treated. Typical of institutional religion. This is not the way I would operate a church. I would encourage people to try to call the number and see what happens because all you are going to get is a prerecorded message and very likely never be called back. Their websites both milmcc.org and queerchurch.org have either a telephone number or a way of responding to anything this put up on the Internet or on Facebook. The only way you can contact them via queer church.org is to fill out a form and whether they will even look at that or answer it is questionable. I Really hate to say it but no wonder it is the way it is, it's a really sad state of affairs but such is life. Unless Milwaukee Metropolitan community Church changes the way they operate I don't see them lasting very much longer within our community. Would you really want to go to a church that didn't care about you? I know I don't.

I suppose if you're going to go to Pride Fest, go to the health and wellness area and ask them why they don't upgrade their websites why they don't tell anybody what's going on why don't they care about the gay community? Or is it just lip-service? We need answers and we want to know what's going on with MCC or are they just incredibly lazy? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Is Marriage all its cracked up to be?

Thoughts on gay marriage

I don't know about you but I really still don't understand what the big deal is about gay marriage. I know I'm probably going to get smashed on this one but I think I am right on a lot of it. First of all a mistake that I don't if I am really gay or not, I like women I do like some men but I'm not into the gay sex thing so maybe that makes me straight well I guess that's the way it is. I consider myself an ally to the gay community and will do my best to defend it. So with that said I just want to give my ideas of what I think about gay marriage.

The first thing out of the mouths of most gay people is that they consider themselves second-class citizens which couldn't be farther from the truth. Dummy, you are gay, get used to it, and you'll always be gay. And I for one do not want to be homogenized into the straight community. Of course I have straight friends, but who doesn't? So are we really second-class citizens? I don't think so. We are who we are and we cannot be changed no matter how hard we try, but why would we want to become straight in the first place? That I really don't understand. After all I enjoy being different and that's who I am, like it or not.

Has any gay person actually looked into marriage? Believe me it's not all it's cracked up to be. The problem is most people are going to say, well we need all of the government protections which to me is bull. It just seems to me that everyone is looking for all the freebies that the government will give you when you get married. It's sort of like the guy who comes up to you and says here is a gift for you, and you think to your self why is he giving me this gift? Certainly there has to be strings attached. Well guess what? There always are and marriage is no exception. After all you are signing a contract between yourself and your spouse and the government and the state. Yes I said the state, because they always have to have their fingers in there somewhere. So long as your marriage is on until we do part (as in die) than everything is hunky-dory. But oh boy if things don't go right and the marriage sours this is when things can get really sticky and not very much fun.

Now here's what happens so hang on to your seats. What usually happens when people get married is that they usually agree to buy a house to live in together usually as tenants in common. Along with that they buy furniture and all the accouterments necessary to run a house. They might keep their old car but then again they might trade it in for new one that both of them may own. What complicates the problem is that because we cannot physically have children and because many of us want to raise a child, we opt for adoption. Again if this is a long term relationship it is all fine and dandy. But what happens when things go sour and divorce is on the horizon? This is the part that most of us don't like because we have to hire a lawyer and file for divorce in court. All of this costs money, lots of it. Not so much if we were lucky enough to have a premarital contract and are smart enough to keep our possessions separate, then divorce could be relatively painless.  Besides the psychological consequences of the separating apart, that believe me is not painless and can cause long term grief. Fortunately in the gay community we don't wind up hating each other unlike what tends to happen with heterosexual divorce cases. And the worst part is when we throw a child into the mix this is where things can go terribly wrong. Hopefully psychologically we do not use a child as a pawn in the divorce proceedings. Both parents must be extremely careful not to bad mouth one or the other in front of the child because this can be detrimental to his or her psychological health long term.

For this reason I think, and this is my own personal opinion, that a living together arrangement (also known as a domestic partnership agreement) is the best solution along with a binding contract concerning finances and what belongs to whom. Of course you're going to have to go to a lawyer for things like power of attorney in case of death and also health care as necessary. In the long run if things don't work out you can always separate without all the underlying expenses that divorce would entail. So my question is, is marriage what it's really cracked up to be?

Point of view

Boy that last post was something. While I guess I was a little upset with what was going on in our community. I tried to give some comments to the LGBT community center However there were a couple of people in there who did not agree to what I had to say. I would get comments like he's an old fart and he doesn't like what we're doing. No it's not that at all. I've been in the gay community long enough to know that we have an awful lot of people who are apathetic and figure if they pay lip-service they can just turn around and go back to what we call business as usual. Am sorry but this not the way you run an organization. The reason that the LGBT community center got in so much trouble is because they did not have enough oversight of their executive director so she ran roughshod over them and brought them to the edge of bankruptcy. And if it wasn't for their action of taking her out of the organization, in other words firing her I don't think the LGBT Ctr. would be what it is today or even be existing. What they did instead was to set up a couple of the so-called community meetings where people were supposed to give their thoughts and ideas to the LGBT Ctr. so that they could improve their operations. Even though I wasn't able to make these meetings because of health reasons I did see or hear what was going on at those meetings. Granted there are things that are LGBT community needs such as project Q, breasts examinations for our lesbian population and other things like that, mainly because I think there's a lot of LGBT people who do not feel comfortable seeing doctors outside of of our own community I suppose it is because of a perceived prejudices within the straight community.

Now a bunch of times I brought up the problem of parking near the LGBT Ctr. mainly because it's atrocious and there really isn't any close parking for people who are mobility challenged. Bus routes do not come close to the building within the about perhaps two blocks which is about the closest that they come, automobile parking is pretty much the same in the closest garage which is kitty corner to the LGBT Ctr. does not provide adequate access. Entrance buy cars from the east side up a steep ramp and the exits are located either on the south side or the west side of the building which of course means that you have to walk all around the building to get to the LGBT Ctr. another problem that I pointed out was access to the building which at first was from the street side and not the alley side which had a incline for people to walk up but there again would be quite a challenge for somebody using a walker or a wheelchair, if not impossible.

Now my suggestion is that they look for a new building where everything can be on one floor that way mobility access would be very good. Also what they need is parking a right next to the building to allow people to get into the building with the least amount of hassle, in other words not have to feed it parking meter or run around the block several times trying to find adequate parking. Now I understand that I said that at this point in time this may be an impossibility for the LGBT Ctr. because of the financial strain that they are currently under so I guess I would not expect this to happen any time soon. But it is something to look forward to in the future.

Lastly I'm wondering if they're doing just lip service to what has been done as far as the community meetings are concerned. The choice of an executive director, as if that will ever happen (pardon the sarcasm) and if and when the bylaws will ever be changed so that the community as a whole has a say so in the operation of their community center. I guess I just wouldn't be saying a this if I didn't care for our community so don't get me wrong or take the wrong message because I definitely do care and I hope you do too.

Why waste my breath ?

That's right, why waste my breath ?  Try as I might to point out obvious problems within the LGBT community I get slammed. So why bother? Like many other people who once were active and eventually got screwed I guess I will join the ranks of the disillusioned and recruse myself from further participation in all things gay. Just wait, your time will come, believe me.

To all those self important narcissists, go screw yourself.

L GB T community center, what's up?

Last Thursday on January 26, 2011 the Milwaukee LGB T community center held a meeting to discuss its future. Now for health reasons I was not able to make the meeting but I still want to know exactly what went on at that meeting. I was assured that at the time that the minutes of the meeting would be published so that those people who could not make the meeting would know what went on. At that time I posted my concerns on Facebook and was told by a person who apparently volunteered to do advertising, marketing and promotion for the centerthat the minutes would soon be published. She indicated that the minutes would be published soon and another person that I know very well and emphatically told me to lay back and chill out. It's been over a week and nothing's happened. Being the impatient soul that I am I called the interim director who indicated also that the minutes would be published. Apparently he really didn't want to talk to me because conveniently in the middle of our conversation indicated to me that there was somebody else on the other line, a common tactic used by people on the phone when they don't want to talk to you or answer any more of your questions because you're delving a little bit too deep and making them very uncomfortable.

I still have questions however that remain unanswered, for instance when Maggie Cage was involved with the center and she demanded that Murrieta Cardenas from the cream city foundation, when she came to inquire about how some money was being spent told Maria to get out, which she did in tears. It wasn't until I and the Wisconsin Gazette inquired about this and other incidents including the $70,000 in debt that was revealed in 2011 auditthat she suddenly resigned her position and was reassigned to the mental health position. Later on as we all know she was fired and is no longer associated with the LGB T Ctr. Unnamed sources who desire not to be named and indicated that the debt has increased to over $100,000. Why the board didn't immediately call Maggie Cage on the floor for her actions is beyond me. As far as I am concerned the complete board is culpable for their actions including the acting interim director. For the LGB T Ctr. to survive a complete new board has to replace the old board. The old bylaws must be thrown out and new bylaws instituted replacing the ones that were not followed. Their self perpetuating board needs to be dissolved and a democratic form of leadership instituted. As a worst-case scenario I think the LG BT center may need to dissolve its corporate status and start over under a new name and a new location. Unfortunately this I think is the only way than LGB T Ctr. can survive.

I understand Diverse and Resilient's decision to cancel negotiations with the possible merger of the LGB T Ctr. I don't think that Diverse and Resilient could handle the monumental debt that it would incur. The fact is that certain fairly wealthy people within our community no longer want to contribute monetarily to the center. Because of the recession many of the grants that the center depended on have dried up also, and contrary to popular belief the rest of the gay and lesbian population don't have as much disposable income as people would like to believe. I really don't believe the fundraising activities that they are trying to institute will be enough to keep the center going.

I do understand that there are certain activities such as Project Q and the breast cancer program are important to our community. The problem is however that many of the other activities that the center supports are duplicated by other organizations. However I do believe that some of these other organizations will in turn suffer if the LGB T Ctr. goes belly up.

A similar situation happened with Action Wisconsinof  when they sturred  up a hornets nest concerning the marriage issue. At the time I was on their board and I told them that they needed to get domestic partnership first, and once they got that then and only then go after the marriage thing. But they wouldn't have it, it was all or nothing and unfortunately now we have nothing because the religious right changed the Wisconsin Constitution banning gay marriage and only making marriage between one man and one woman. Action Wisconsin in order to continue realized  that they had to change their name and location in order to continue operations, which they did. This is what I think would be the next and most logical step for the Milwaukee LGB T Ctr. to do. Believe me I take no pleasure in being a doomsayer but I think that this is the only way our LGB T Ctr. will ever survive. 

Milwaukee LGBT Center Money problems

Why am I not surprised that the LGBT Center has lost over $77,522 ? We do know that parking sucks even after 6PM, so what else has caused this gigantic loss? Could it be that the cost per Square Foot is too much? Or is it a combination of the two? Boys and Girls you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure this one out. Face it, it is a terrible location. Like I said in my blog a few stories down, welcome to the School of Hard Knocks. Just like the failed Visioning Project, its always a bunch of community leaders with gigantic egos who think they know whats best for the community. NOT

The truth is that the space is too expensive and the parking is lousy. We're in a recession, remember? Besides who wants to park two blocks away and deal with all the drunk and rowdy college kids? You have to walk at least a block or two from the nearest bus stop. Don't expect many disabled people to drop in either. This is just east of the entertainment district (lots of bars, performing arts center, Pabst theatre). Project Q may not care, but the rest of us do. Too bad "I Told you so."

Just today the county Exec wants to slash several million dollars from the budget. I think grants are going to be hard to come by unless the economy picks up. That is not going to happen any time soon, you can bank on that. Don't even get me started with Obama's jobs program.

Check my posts on September and October 2010 for more info.

Sage is so screwed, and the Finger Pointing begins

SAGE Milwaukee is so screwed
The SAGE Milwaukee web site is down and guess who owns it? You guessed it, the terminated executive director. He said an Angel ran it and I think I know who that is also. Its a shame that he worked his ass off to build it up and some idiot with a tremendous ego comes along and screws it all up. Congratulations, Board of Directors, you really screwed it up this time. Tell me this, why is it that various people who work their asses off to produce things for our community are eventually screwed by the very people they are trying to help? Taking into consideration the Peter principle or some people have reached their level of incompetence, many others, too many to mention and been horribly screwed over by some narcissistic egomaniacs who think that they know better than anyone else how to run our community, when in fact they don't.

I been around long enough to see organizations destroyed because of the actions of a few because they let their overinflated egos get the better of them. I've seen it with car clubs, I've seen that pride Fest, I've seen it at the Milwaukee Metropolitan community Church, I've seen it happen to LAMM, and now once again I'm seeing it happen at SAGE Milwaukee. And the thing I've noticed the most is the apathy within our community and the cowardliness of the gay press to cover any of it. If anyone thinks I enjoy this, I don't. It is however I believe my duty to expose the sayings and to bring it to the attention of our community, mainly because and I don't know why, I care about it. There are times when I wonder why I'm wasting my time, when I'd like to raise my hands in frustration and turnaround and walk away from everything. Truth be told I cannot do that and that is why I do what I do. Like it or not, somebody has to do it. It makes me mad as hell, and should you too.
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Salvation Army Kettle Time Again

http://www.hrc.org/issues/religion/13450.htm It's not even Thanksgiving and the Salvation Army is starting their Red Kettle Campaign. I don't think I have to remind anyone that this is a very homophobic organization. Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, the Salvation Army's position statement on homosexuality has not changed one iota. Most of their scriptures stated in their position statement had been misinterpreted. The 1611 King James version of the Bible and the interlinear Greek English translation and Tanakh commonly known as the Jewish Bible or Torah believe that by our Jewish brethren to be the most accurate translation of the Bible does not contain the word homosexuality in any shape manner or form. Nowhere in the new testament is homosexuality mentioned. Most of the Old Testament talks about man's inhumanity to man in this story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Romans 1:26-27 actually talks about prostitution and not homosexuality or homosexual acts.

Some of the places that the red kettle campaign is located is the Bayshore Mall, Pick & Save (Bay Shore Mall management office telephone number is 332-8136, Chris Jaeter is the general Manager) and Stein's gardens and gifts. Needless to say if you are so moved it is my recommendation that we file complaints with these businesses demanding that they remove these red kettles from their premises. In the meantime stay tuned because there will be more to follow on this blog.

Some thoughts concerning Milwaukee MCC

Here some thoughts concerning Milwaukee MCC

Last Sunday because of my curiosity concerning the ministerial committees I wanted to see if anything changed. The two committees I was interested in were the Technology Committee and the Pastoral Committee. Needless to say I was vastly disappointed with the Technology committee for the following reasons.
The person or persons controlling the websites for the church insist upon using a web authoring tool that is extremely complicated and expensive. I believe this is to ensure that they will be the only ones capable of creating and updating the church's websites.
They have ownership of and control of the domains also assuring that no one will be able to access the websites.
There were several hearing-impaired individuals who are interested in making sermons accessible. Ideas concerning videos were summarily rejected.
In order for people to come back to the website time and time again (weekly) it needs to be changed and updated on a regular basis if that does not happen that is very unlikely that they will ever come back after the very first time. Nothing has changed on either one of the websites and some things should be completely eliminated or deleted from these websites in order for the church to move forwards.
I was also upset by the ministerial committee choosing music for weekly services. A good homilist chooses music appropriate to the homily or sermon. They do not allow anyone else to do this. This caused me to wonder how far in advance the minister prepares the sermons?
Concerning the communion I have several concerns. I understand that you may want to contemporize communion however some people believe that it has been watered down and lost its magic. The magic of communion is this trans-substantiation of the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ. The act of consuming these two items represents a forgiveness of sins, nothing more and nothing less. Now if new people to the church are not familiar with this, then I think it should be part of the membership class. Although different churches do not use the traditional wafers the bread should always be the same. Authenticity is good but Hawaiian bread just doesn't cut it.
Unfortunately the Milwaukee Metropolitan community Church will never grow if things don't change. I realize that you have your own style of effecting change, however that has not happened given the amount of time you have been minister of this church. I think that you need to take a stronger leadership position and insist the stagnant leaders step down and allow fresh blood to replace and revitalize these committees. You must accept the fact that some people will be extremely upset when this happens and some may quit the church entirely. Sometimes change is not always pleasant but necessary. In some circles we call it getting rid of deadwood.
There are times when I take the Devils Advocate position to force people to think and do things they otherwise would not do. I hope that people get mad then perhaps good things will happen. And although I am not a member nor do I intend to rejoin, for some reason I care about the church. I have had many pleasant memories with the church.

There is a method to my madness and always a reason for what I do.